it's never too late for a halloween post

Way back in October we had a "warm up" for trick-or-treating at Daddy's work the day before Halloween. Walking through the Pru with the kids in costume was like Moses parting the Red Sea. People oohed and aahed at the extreme cuteness the kids exuded.

This is where I will unveil Mark's costume (and my one "crafy venture" of 2009): a knight in shining amour.






every princess needs a prince

The next day the Halloween Gods smiled upon Boston and it was unseasonably warm, and there just enough wind to lend a spookiness as leaves swirled around the little princess and her knight as they embarked on the quest to obtain CANDY!



her first house


wait, maybe I'm too nervous


oh, you mean he's going to put candy in this bucket, right here? Ok...



We hit the jack pot, trick-or-treating with not one, but TWO Grandmas...

Mark only hit up one house. All he wanted was to eat his lollis in peace.
saw this bench on the way to Grandma's house. Don't mind if we do.


the wicked witch loves sticky, drooling boys

Teleconference

The Drewsky and I had a telelconference with our adoption agency yesterday afternoon that pumped us up. (The post-dossier-submission-void-of-nothingness has been a cloud hanging around over here).

Our Ethiopian Adoption Coordinator ran through the details of what to expect when we receive our referral, what happens after that, how to start thinking about travel to the country, and we learned details about the court processes in Ethiopia.

This woman had been to ET in April and has been there 5 or 6 times. She has been to the court houses, spoken with judges, and discussed the policies in place both in ET and with our agency that protect children, our adoption, and birth families. It felt good to understand more.

It felt good to talk about our kids.

It felt good to hear "most families are being matched within 6 months." Though I was laden with guilt that so many families working with other agencies are waiting 12, 14, 18 months. It hardly seems fair - though I am not counting chickens. Anything could happen, we could end up with a long wait.

I have a really hard time fantasizing about our future bebes, gender, age, etc, it seems like a black hole to me. So, while I do some prep work for parenting strategies, I now am going to fill the void of "what do I do while I wait" with researching travel options.

Dove recommends having a fabulous trip with Ethiopia, aka, come for as long as we want, go on adventures while we are there, including visiting the regions where the kids are from. This is our chance to see the country, connect to this people, and we hope to build a connection to this place that is already so much apart of our family.

They also recommend visiting with the children every day, but make the good point that keeping the kids' transitions down to a minimum by letting them sleep at their orphanage and allowing them to stay on their schedule while getting to know us makes a lot of sense. Thus, I am trying to figure out where we want to go since we will have a lot of time on our hands while we wait for the US Embassy in Addis to grant the kids' passports, etc.

We recently found out our church has a congregation in Addis Ababa (the capital city) that we really want to attend.

We also kinda wanna go see some of this:

If anyone who's been there went someplace they loved, please tell us!

Who says you can only go apple picking once?

It is wonderful to pick apples in the fall.

It is freaking awesome to go apple picking on the LAST day farms are open and NO one else is there so you have a massive orchard to yourself. Grandma Jane and I fought over my camera and took in the breathtaking scenery as we munched on apples.

Have you ever had the pleasure of encountering a Macoun apple? We ate about five apples a piece seeking for our favorites, and this breed won hands down.



Some stranger mom asked the other day if I felt badly I didn't have Jane in preschool this year.

What I wanted to say: "Are you crazy? She has her whole life to be influenced by everyone else. She goes on adventures and fieldtrips every week, and as we drive in the car she thinks about words and tries to spell them outloud. She's 3 and she can sound out the spelling of words without even seeing them in front of her. And next year, when we might put her in preschool, Mark and I will be home with two new babies (hopefully) and we will probably cry the entire time she's gone missing her. No, I don't feel bad!"

What I did say: "No, I love having her home with me. She doesn't need it. Maybe next year."

dangit

as i was getting mark ready for bed i had to take out the trash, when i came back he was dipping his chubby pointer finger into our massive vat of Desitin and licking it.

it's been that kind of day.

Gratuituous pics - Minute Man National Park

I should make a collage in Photoshop but somethings gotta give in this posting every day for a month thing, so, instead I will be lazy and just put them all in here in their huge glory.

My mother, Grandma Jane, came this fall again, which is good because I always feel a little crafty every year around Halloween: I have a concept for a costume and need hands that can execute. We are a great team, as you will see when I get around to posting the Halloween post that is already 4 days late.

I discovered with no small embarrassment that Minute Man National Park is not just a visitor's center/giftshop/cool movie in Lincoln. No no, it starts in Concord, spans several miles and is an amazing adventure. You get to retrace the steps of the infamous April morning in 1775 starting at the North Bridge, where the Shot Heard Around the World went off. We worked our way through Lincoln and to Concord following Battle Road, and learned how the Minute Men got word of the British Regulars and abandonded plows in fields, firey tongs in blacksmith shops, grabbed their muskets, and chased the Red Coats back to Boston.

On more than two occasions I was overcome with emotion. This place really makes it easy to relive these amazing moments in history, becuase you literally are walking where they walked. It was a magical day.





the bridge where it all started



This statue slays me. I wept at the simple farmer with plow in one hand, musket in the other, answering the call "The Britsh are coming."

Here is the inscription:





At Hartwell's tavern we learned what it was like to live as a Colonial family, met one of the "townsmen" and I realized that my kids need chores like churning butter and fetching water.











it really was the most beautiful day.





can you tell I am obsessed with sunflare lately?


Due to things like naps we had to cut our visit short, and so returned the next day to wrap up. Mom and I want to go back sans kids to really hit every stop on the list. Two heavenly days in a row. What are the odds? We will take it.

Growing Boy

Marky turned 18 months on Sunday. I cannot accept that my baby is no longer a baby. Neither can he apparently, as he still loves being carried on my hip at all times or in his Ergo, and (shock of my life) is still nursing.





he's the kind of boy who stops to smell the flowers
he's the kind of boy who loves to dance
he's the kind of boy who loves to color
he's the kind of boy who will accept a proffered sippy cup or paci when having a hard time, for the sole purpose of throwing it to the ground to show his disgust
he's the kind of boy who remembers where I keep the chocolate chips
he's the kind of boy that is good for a snuggle
he's the kind of boy that will say "cockadoodledoo" while holding a toy chicken, but will not say "Dada." (He calls Daddy 'Mama' as well, much to Andrew's chagrin)
he's the kind of boy who smiles easily
he's the kind of boy who hates a diaper change

he loves his Mama while I play the role of his comfort object, and Daddy is his favorite climbing structure, but his best buddy is Sissy.

NaBloPoMo Day 2

The U.S. Department of Heath and Human Services Administration for Children and Families (or USDHAHSAFCAF, for whom I am glad I don't work since that name is a little tedious, yes?) has dedicated each November to National Adoption Month!

That's great, because we love adoption. In our house every month is adoption month, but now I have an excuse to share it with you.

Obviously, and for good reason, http://www.adoptuskids.org/ and our government focus on foster-to-adopt, which is fantastic. I will allow myself creative license to make this month an umbrella for all adoption.

The leadership of our church issued a few years ago a Proclamation on the Family. One of the tenents claims "Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity."

Now, I should quickly say I am a HUGE supporter of single mom adoption. I believe children and moms who find each other are definitely gifts to each other, the world, God, etc. I only mention this particular phrase in the proclamation because I like the word "entitled."

What an idea, huh? Children are entitled to parents. Kids who --through circumstances out of their control-- need and then find new, loving families are NOT lucky. They are entitled.

A while ago an aquaintance mentioned to me that they didn't understand "how you can love and care for a child who isn't your own flesh and blood."

I don't want to go into how utterly bizarre this sounded to me because it isn't important. To each his own. All I want to say is, if you are in the wonderful camp of being capable of loving children not related to you, I highly recommend adoption as a way to build your family.

Adoption is scary. There are a lot of unknowns. Health and history of birth parents, prenatal care, any trauma or malnutrition kids' might experience. There are lists and lists of potential setbacks.

Just like with having bio kids. Did you know there are hundreds of thousands of birth defects possible? Or birth complications? Or conditions and challenges that could surface later, like with Autism Spectrum Disorders? Yup, even with biological families, things can pop up years after the child has joined your family that you didn't anticipate and need help addressing.

Celebrate adoption this month with us in your own way. Celebrate that the definition of a family includes far more than common DNA. At least for us it does.

NaBloPoMo

I am joining this blog friend, and her, and her for November!

The rule is I have to post every day in November, and just about anything counts. Hopefully I can use it to tap into some creativity and not bore my small readership with "this is a post about nothing so I can count it as a post."

My first venture for NaBloPoMo is about a fun but semi-shameful event from last weekend I will call

"We are not pagent parents: It was just a fashion show, people."

Jane was asked by Cutely-Dressed Nordstrom Shoe Department Employee last month if she'd like to participate in their Autumn Fashion Show (which does not make us special in any way from any other patron. Except that we were willing to buy an outfit from their clothing department at a slight discount and show our daughter off in it to the benefit of other parents also showing their children off in slightly discounted designer clothing.)

Of course we said yes.

After a cliche and totally embarassing display of emotional pyrotechnics when Jane was not allowed to leave with said outfit (we had to keep it there until the big day so it would remain free of markers, dirt, spaghetti sauce and blood), we left with tears in eyes and balloons in hand with our calendar marked for October 24! Woo hoo!

Saturday morning we knew we had to be there at 8am, the show to start at 9am. Now, I have not personally set an alarm clock in several years. My kids wake me. For some reason this day of all days they decided to sleep in- I sat upright in bed at 7:45. CRAP.

We experienced the crazy scene from Home Alone where we run around ripping warm snuggly children from their beds getting dressed to run out to the Natick Mall. (In all the chaos of shoving cereal down their throats and finding clothes Andrew alone found the time to calmly shower...very suspect if you ask me.)

We arrived at 8:20, still plenty of time for prep. Whew!

doing hair

doing make up


yes, I even let her wear mascara


hey look, it wasn't just me. Even Andrew was in on this

she is ready to go!

Mark warming up the catwalk with Grandma Jane peeking from the wings

So here is where the story gets fun: Of course 95% of the kids completely freeze, tip toeing, with heads down, practicially being dragged along by Helpful Nordstrom Show Facilitators. It's still cute, if disappointing.

Enter Jane Hopkin. The girl has no fear and loves to strut.

Her Emcee said "Here is Janie Hopkin wearing blah blah blah with leggings and sparkle detail. Her favorite doll is named Hannah, her favorite princess is Ariel and more than anything she likes to sing, dance and play with her family."

The place roared with laughter and applause at her spunk.





this is her pose at the end of the catwalk, something she considered highly stylish:


and then she turned around and did this. more laughs and applause.

And even after the crowds dispersed and the music was turned off, she loved her new spinny dress.

The girly girls take a final walk to show our stuff:

Oh how we love our funny girl. We love how she loves putting on a show and making people smile. She makes us so proud and laugh constantly. And no, we don't plan on entering the pagent circuit, but oh my gosh, she'd be soooo good at it.

hiatus

my mommy's here visiting from the Land of Desolation and Snow (AKA Denver, CO/ AKA, Place I can't stand Only-because-it-isn't-where-I-grew-up, AKA, City of Nosebleeds and Dry Skin and no ocean).

i have a frillion pictures (since the last few times she's come i've insisted on 'being in the moment') and i probably won't work on them until after she's gone. which isn't for 7 days.

i'll be back some day.

PS. having Grandma around rocks.

messy messy

Salem Stories

Ever heard of the Salem Witch Trials? We went to go separate fact from fiction in this lovely, historical town. I invited myself -using the kids as bait- to join Grandma Marianne and Aunt Carolee. Thanks for letting us come, ladies, we loved it!

an unquiet mind

thoughts lately

...the unmistakable mark of a stay at home mom is upon me: i work 3x faster when on the phone. the second the phone rings i have a pavlovian response and immediately start making beds, loading the dishwaser, and straightening things. it's completely insane. i cannot and do not work like a machine unless on the phone.

deep shame: Once called just about everyone I knew to try and chat while I went through my to-do list. No one was home, and I didn't realize for 30 minutes I was doing laundry while cradling the phone between my shoulder and my ear. I wasn't talking to anyone, no, I just couldn't work without the phone in my neck.

isn't that sick?

...Mark and I can't shake a cold. it's been lingering on for almost 3 weeks now. I sound like a veteran chain smoker and am really sick of the amount of snot I am dealing with on an hourly basis.

...my kids are freaking rock stars. Today I spent about 3 hours in a reclining position accompanied by a sinus headache and My Name is Asher Lev (which I am enjoying way more than I thought I would) while they played with dolls, pollys, animals, play kitchen, cars, blocks.

Miracle 1: one toy genre at a time, cleaning as they went. Miracle 2: happily and without any major refereeing. Our home was heaven today. I am so thankful they were easy going on a day I needed them to not demand too much.

...I've said it before, but the Hopkin kids are amazing eaters. Today they ate leftovers of mustard and shallot glazed swordfish and roasted garlicky potatoes with fresh dill. This is what I would have qualified as "weird food" growing up. They just eat it like it's a french fry.

...speaking of french fries, my friend Kathleen unearthed my dirty little secret last week that my kids have never had fast food (I should add: to my knowledge. Wouldn't put it past my siblings to sneak them random bits of normalcy when I am not around. Calling all Guthries this is your chance to come clean.) Kathleeny, if you come visit I will let you take them to MacEVIL'S MacDonald's for their maiden voyage. We will take a picture so when they grow up and say "Mom why did you deprive us??" I can show them proof to the contrary.

...I've been moping a lot. Not entirely self-pity kind of moping. More, winter is upon us and I just don't feel up for it moping. I am not reconciled that it will be cold until next May. I don't know why I sign up for this year after year. I used to live near LA, dangit. Every single winter I am reminded that I am not cut out for this. I do not come from hardy stock. I only own like, 3 pairs of socks, even after 7 unconsecutive years here.

I really, really hate winter.

...I am nervous thinking about our future Hopkin Family additions. Are they born yet? Are they hungry? Are they safe? I feel helpless. I am "pregnant" with no due date. Now that I have no big task list of adoption paperwork, how do I keep my head in the game? I've been doing some reading but it's hard. I want to think about these kids and prepare for them every day. But I am feeling in limbo and distant right now.

...I recently realized how as I've gotten older that I simultaneously like myself more and dislike my faults more. I recently read a blog post by a woman who calls herself a lactivist who is still breastfeeding her 28 month old son and says "When asked when I was going to wean, I say that World Health Organization recommends a minimum of 2 years, but I was pretty sure he’d be done before college."

I swear I didn't bat an eye. I laughed and I didn't think she was weird.

I have a friend who recently gave birth to her fourth child at home, assisted only by her hubby and a 2 year old who cut the cord.

This didn't sound so odd to me. I was like "good for you!" and really meant it. This would not have been the case a few years ago.

I am happy that as life goes on, I realize more and more that everyone has stuff that works for their family. And that that's ok if it's different than mine. I feel less threatned by differences. I like this about me, though I have a long way to go.

I was one of those girls who thought (before I ever nursed or had a baby) that there is an approriate or "normal" way to have kids and how long to nurse them.

I wish I could go back in time and slap that 20 year old and say "You don't know what you are talking about."

Why on earth should I form an opinion about how to parent or what is the "right way" to do things before I am even there? It's so embarassing to look back and realize that my thoughts were judgemental.

...On the other hand, I am probably forgiving myself less and less as I get older. I should know better than to think certain things or say certain things. I should know how to handle frustration better. I should be more organized.

...I wish I didn't need people as much as I do. Growing up I always wanted to be more introverted. I thought it was much better to be a composed, quiet, logical, hardened, self-strengthening character. I wanted to show less emotion and rely on others less. I wanted to not need friends. Anyone who knows me will laugh at those descriptors.

Part of me still finds my extrovertism a weakness. I say too much, I care too much what others think. I want company too much. I want to be me 30 years from now and hope I've tamed this and simultaneously accepted who I am.

...to deal with the mopes I've been reading my head off in a way I haven't done in years. If you are not using Goodreads I highly highly recommend it. It's great fun. It is basically a way to review books you've read and get recommendations for books based on what people you know are reading. After college it's hard to get a constant supply of reading material that is challenging and rewarding. I am happy to report I have about 70 or so books on my to read list and it grows weekly. If you sign up, be sure to make me your "friend" so we can share reading lists.

... I fear sleep. I stay up late every night. No matter what. My kids go to bed before 8 every night and 99% of the time stay in their beds asleep until 7am at least. I shouldn't stay up until 1am but I almost always do. I don't know what my problem is.

... I noticed the past few days my 17 month old son dances really beautifully. He bops his head to music, especially classical, and has really great balance on his tippy toes. I don't tell his dad this, but I'd love if I got a ballet dancer for a son.

...and now, I will sleep. (Nah, who am I kidding, I am just gonna read for another hour. That Asher Lev's final 80 pages are calling my name)

Thanks for letting my share what's been on my mind. Do you have anything plaguing your thoughts lately? I encourage comments or a link to your post with your random, unrelated thoughts.

friends n' stuff

We were delighted to brave the insane cold yesterday with some new and already dear friends. I was lucky enough to take pics of this bundle of yumminess baby A, who recently came to live with his Mommy and Dada from a little place called Ethiopia. We all were gaga over him (well, to be honest, Mark wasn't that interested but only because there were rocks and sticks around) and we are so happy to have a fellow adoptive family close by.

Could he be any cuter? We are SOOO baby hungry. For this kind of baby.







And here is a small tribute to the best Dad in the universe. I just wanted to point out that Andrew rocks. He is quick to laugh, quick to forgive, quick to apologize, quick to smile and quick to help with dishes and diapers. He knows just where to hold a reflector when I am doing pictures and is supportive of just about every idea I have.

It doesn't get much better than that.

Love your guts, Andrew.

checking things out

Always on the hunt for a cool photo op, we found ourselves running around the Bradley Estate in Canton, MA yesterday. I would have loved to explore more, but Mark and Jane were sissies. (Well, to be fair it was fracking freezing, and the snot flowed, and the whining quickly followed.)

I do love massive estates and farms that families gave to the community so lowly people like us can enjoy the land and wish we were a wealthy family in the late 1800s in New England.

It's a fun walk, and indeed makes for great pictures. Go check it out!

On an unrelated note, it's been fun dishing out the mulah for new fall/winter clothes for the kids (yes. seriously. I really enjoy dressing them up. I never got over playing dolls, and now I have real LIVE ones, that barf on the new clothes and get red pasta sauce on them!)

But I've been struggling. The pants she's wearing in these pics were from last year, and as she rounds the corner towards age 4, those size 24 mos jeans are the only things that stay on her behind. I recently decided she had to have 2Ts, and even with all the cinches pulled to their max on the adjustable waist, they are too big. But the 24mos pants are nerdy high waters. What am I gonna do with this girl?? I've tried tons of kids stores, from Target to GAP to Children's Place, Gymboree, to Hannah Andersson...

It looks as though the predicament of finding the perfect jeans for a girl starts early in this house. At least I enjoy the shopping part.